Small Business Support for Travel/Tourism

  • About
  • Work
    • Small Business Support
    • Portfolio
    • Online Course
    • Little Miss Bike Tour
  • Contact

Taming the Four Monsters of Solo Travel

October 4, 2016 by Cynthia Ord 14 Comments

cynthia ord, solo travel

Over the past ten years, I’ve moved abroad five times, lived on five different continents and visited over 30 countries. Most of it has been solo travel, for better or for worse. After the last big solo trip, I journaled “I’m done. Too many monsters.”

But here I am, back in the solo travel saddle. Along with all the wonder and beauty of it, I still face the same old beasts. So I’m learning to keep them in check.

dissapointmentmonsterThe disappointment monster

I had an exciting plan for my short visit to Myanmar: a bike tour from the town of Kalaw to Lake Inle. The weather had a different idea. It was pouring rain when I arrived, so I made a split-second decision to cancel the bike tour and just get to the lake by taxi instead.

Guess who was in that taxi with me. The disappointment monster, smouldering in my head. When I’m traveling alone, she just stays in there, all caged up.

How I tame her: I manage expectations. I stop framing what I do as “travel” and reframe it as real life as a nomad, with all its ups and downs.

The loneliness monsterloneliness monster

What can I say about the loneliness monster? He’s totally silent and awkward. He seems to follow me around. He’s usually the one who greets me at the airport, right on time. A real shapeshifter, this one. Lately, he’s taken the form of large-scale heartbreak in Ethiopia, a cultural chasm in Thailand, and a language barrier in Bulgaria. Everywhere I go, he’s homesickness, and he’s also the isolation of working full-time online, remotely.

How I tame him: I throw things at him, like good books and movies and favorite podcasts, to ward him off. I call friends and family back home. I join groups that meet up and go do fun things. I work from a coworking space. Or I just accept him and we go for a jog. He’s not so scary after all — just a sensitive guy who prefers to be called solitude. I’m pretty sure we’re both INFJs.

photo

The photo monster

Nothing is good enough for the photo monster. She convinces me that I want — no, need — awesome travel photos of myself. But then she ridicules all things selfie. If I hand off my camera to some stranger or a fleeting acquaintance, you know what the photo monster does? I swear, she sees to it that they take only one crooked or blurry or ill-timed shot.

She loves to point out how un-photogenic I am. “Hey look, another crappy you-traveling-solo snapshot,” she taunts. “What’s up with your cheeks in this one?” Then she and the disappointment monster have a good laugh. I delete.

How I tame her: I stopped inviting her everywhere, stopped forcing photo ops. She’s winning though. I fret over the many photos I haven’t been in and the few that I have.

envy monster

The envy monster

In Chiang Mai, I met a handsome couple from Atlanta whose joint-effort luxury adventure blog had me crying tears of green. This was no isolated envy attack. Bumping into so many people who have also taken their gig on the road, it’s hard not to compare myself. The envy monster is a multi-headed medusa: livelihood envy, talent envy, equipment envy, trip envy, and couple envy, to name the ugliest of them. The more I slay, the more they multiply.

How I tame her: Gratitude. I zoom way out to a bird’s eye view and look at the big picture. My freedom to wander the world as I work and to meet all sorts of people is privilege. It’s a rare gift. See what I did there? Now I’m jealous of myself. Take that, you monster.

Share this:

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • LinkedIn
  • Google
  • Pinterest

Related

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: solo female travel, solo travel

Comments

  1. Wes says

    September 30, 2016 at 12:32 pm

    Country counter! Haha

    Reply
  2. john Ord says

    September 30, 2016 at 10:54 pm

    Engrossing!
    Who drew the monsters?
    Dad

    Reply
    • Cynthia Ord says

      October 1, 2016 at 6:20 am

      My Bulgarian friend Irina drew disappointment, loneliness, and photo. I drew envy. It was a fun ‘girls night in’ project in Bansko.

      Reply
  3. youroldneighbor says

    October 17, 2016 at 1:42 am

    i really hope i wasnt the disappointment monster in the tax with you in myanmar

    Reply
  4. Amanda Hawaii says

    October 27, 2016 at 1:11 pm

    Oh YES ….. I have dealt with all these monsters !

    Reply
  5. Turner says

    October 29, 2016 at 1:33 am

    I’m not bothered by the photo monster anymore. All the others…

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Traveling With A New Perspective | says:
    August 28, 2017 at 9:56 am

    […] Solo travel isn’t for everyone. It’s not a vacation so much as it’s a nomadic lifestyle. It can be lonely, it can be fraught with frustration and disappointment and it doesn’t always pay well if you want to make it into a self-funding lifestyle. However, it can also be one of the most personally enriching experiences, helping you see not just destinations, but the cultures and people of the regions you visit. There’s a reason that so many solo travelers that backpack, hitchhike, and train across the world find themselves doing it for months and even years on end. If you plan on a backpacking trip, however, you need to be extra careful, researching each region you visit, its risks, and ways to make traveling there more convenient. […]

    Reply
  2. Getting to Know the American East Coast: Where to Visit During Your Trip | says:
    September 11, 2017 at 10:40 pm

    […] if that’s something you’re interested in, you might want to head out to Cape Cod Bay while you travel down the coast. And it’s great all-year round, even if you miss the summer […]

    Reply
  3. Why Solo Travel in Italy Is a Must | says:
    September 16, 2017 at 1:14 am

    […] the best and worst aspects of traveling. It’s often exciting and freeing, but there can be downsides and doubts too. Even though it’s sometimes hard, there’s a lot to love about traveling on your […]

    Reply
  4. US Destinations To Tempt Any Traveler | says:
    October 20, 2017 at 10:39 am

    […] the next time you feel yourself itching to travel, but your finances insist you don’t venture far from home, where could you go? Where in the US is […]

    Reply
  5. Unique and Unusual Things to do in Thailand | says:
    October 27, 2017 at 11:07 am

    […] on a beach isn’t your thing, but you love to try new things and have unique experiences when you travel, it is the place for you to be! Here are just some of the unique and unusual things you can get up […]

    Reply
  6. Tripping Into History: 4 Centuries & Cities Not To Miss | says:
    November 7, 2017 at 11:58 pm

    […] Center — the Johnson Space Center is an educational and emotional trip for families and solo travelers […]

    Reply
  7. Taking Tips From Travelers Who Do It Differently | says:
    January 6, 2018 at 3:43 pm

    […] the truth couldn’t be more different for those of us who travel often, and often do so solo. Instead of seeing our time away as an excuse to splash the cash, us regulars do everything […]

    Reply
  8. What Could Possibly Go Wrong? – Little Miss Bike Tour says:
    April 17, 2019 at 12:58 pm

    […] and cons of that decision are spelled out here, but suffice it to say that I’ve dealt with the loneliness monster of solo travel in the past, and I’ve learned how to tame […]

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CAPTCHA Image
Refresh Image

*

About Cynthia Ord

cynthia ordColorado native. Inveterate traveler. Marketing strategy, management, and support for small businesses and place-based brands.
Read more.  

Where to?

Copyright © 2022 · Beautiful Pro Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in

loading Cancel
Post was not sent - check your email addresses!
Email check failed, please try again
Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email.